Game Theory

Traditionally dating is viewed as a kind of game.

Say there are two people in a relationship:  "A" and "B".
They are separately interviewed and asked to place themselves on the continuum below.
They don't choose the same spot.

What first name would you give to Partner "A"?
What first name would you give to Partner "B"?

If you chose a male name for "A" and a female name for "B" then you know the rules of this traditional dating game.

What does it mean when we say that something is a game?
There are:

Traditionally, what does "A" want, and what is his strategy to get it?
     ANSWER
What does "B" want, and what is her strategy to get it?
      ANSWER
Before you dismiss this traditional view, ask yourself if your parents don't believe in this traditional dating game.  Ask yourself to what extent you believe in this traditional game.

Reasons why such a "game" might have developed around dating:

  1. Existence of a "double standard" of sexual behavior.
  2. Female suffers more from an "accidental" pregnancy
  3. Choice of marriage partner was more of an economic decision for female: she was marrying a breadwinner, a standard of living.
  4. Choice of marriage partner was less of an economic decision for the male:  he was marrying a companion not a lifestyle.  He would suffer no penalty for basing his choice on "trivial" characteristics such as youth/beauty.

    5. Did anyone see "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?"  (a year 2000 precusor to The Bachelor). Do you think it was accidental that the Multimillionaire was a male, and that part of his selection process was to see the contestants parade in bathing suits...  What "game" was actually being played out in this game show?
Reasons why such a "game" might no longer describe this generation's dating behavior:
  1. With much higher rates of females employment, choice of marriage partner is no longer so much an "economic" decision for women.  In fact, choice of wife has become more of an "economic" decision for men.  With similar goals, there is less of a "gender game" to dating.
  2. Better access to contraception and the legalization of abortion has made it easier to avoid unwanted births.


    3. Do you think that it was accidental that "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?"  lasted a total of one show -- a close reading of  After Debacle, Fox to End 'Multimillionaire' Weddings shows how a whole list of very modern concerns made this shows format inappropriate for today.  Has ABC learned anything with the way it presents The Bachelor?

Functions and Dysfunctions of Dating

Dysfunctions -- How is dating dysfunctional?  How is it negative in its consequences?

  1. Exploitation: Waller's notions of least interested ruling relationship is borne out in research.  Study of 200 dating couples: 23% of break-ups were of the "equally involved," 54% were of the "unequally involved."
  2. Early marriages
  3. Break-ups
  4. Those who wish to date but are unable to do so.
  5. Socialized into the "wrong" roles.
  6. Casual dating is a "filter" for potential spouses.  Whatever trivial criteria you  employ actually end up becoming part of your mate selection process since you are unlikely to marry someone you never dated.
Functions --  The functions of dating are quite easy to identify:
  1. Learn social graces
  2. Companionship
  3. Find out about potential mates prior to marriage.
  4. With a longer time being spent between sexual maturation and marriage -- usually well over a decade now -- casual dating now has its own functions:  a venue for meaningful non-marital sexual relations, etc...